God doesn’t need your perfection. He needs your obedience.
I didn’t want to be this vulnerable.
But I can’t sleep tonight.
My heart is heavy.
I once prayed a dangerous prayer —
that God would break my heart for what breaks His.
And He did.
It wrecked me…
and it’s still wrecking me tonight.
I didn’t want to be uncomfortable.
I didn’t want to sacrifice my life.
I didn’t want more trauma after walking through a marriage marked by addiction and mental illness.
I wanted the white picket fence.
A safe, quiet story.
But instead,
God called me.
He asked me to open my home and my heart —
as a single working mom —
to children in foster care.
And I said yes.
I said, “Send me.”
It’s been hard.
So hard.
Harder than I will ever really let you know.
And yet… it’s been holy.
Tonight, my heart is breaking because I can’t do enough.
This week, I learned there are only 80 foster families in my entire county.
Eighty.
And the system is more broken than it was six years ago —
the year I said yes to adopting my girls.
The few foster homes that are open are exhausted.
Traumatized.
Some are grieving children who were ripped away by the system — sent to “family” they had never even met, after years of love and stability in a foster home that became their safe place.
Others grieve children now in the arms of Jesus,
because “reunification” was chosen over protection.
I hear friends say,
“I can’t risk my kids being around those kids.”
“My husband won’t let me.”
“My ministry is in my home.”
And their doors stay closed…
While children are alone and abandoned —
never experiencing Christ’s love we are commanded to share.
Tonight, I’m grieving for a family I know —
a mother I love —
struggling with severe mental illness,
doing her best,
but unable to properly care for her daughters.
They will be homeless by Tuesday.
There’s nowhere left for them to go.
DCF says their hands are tied.
There are no beds.
No homes.
No one willing to take a teen… or a large sibling group.
So they remain in neglect —
vulnerable to unknown abuse —
because they aren’t “broken enough” … yet.
If you know my girls’ story,
you know this guts me.
Without someone stepping in,
they would not be here today.
That is not me being dramatic. It’s the truth.
If you’ve ever prayed for God to use you…
If you’ve ever said, “Here I am, send me.”
If you’ve ever felt the fire for something more —
Ask God to search your heart.
And send you.
Wherever that is.
If you consider yourself pro-life,
it might mean fostering.
It might mean supporting foster families who desperately need it.
Because Pro-Life means Pro-Abundant Life —
not just for the baby,
but for the toddler,
the middle schooler,
And the teen.
God doesn’t need your perfection.
He needs your obedience.
He doesn’t need your comfort.
He needs your YES.
The yes to whatever you know you’re supposed to do.
We’ve built comfort when God called us to sacrifice.
We’ve built programs when He called us to people.
I’m tired.
I’m grieved.
But I believe we can do better.
We must do better.